Monday, January 14, 2013

Wow...the last 10 months have flown by. My next cancer check is in a couple of weeks...expecting good results. The best news is that my cognitive issues are minimal right now...wasn't sure my brain would ever start working again (ok, all my friends had better stop chuckling!).

I have to admit that having cancer has re-activated the activist in me...pro-organic, real food; pro-guns (that means I bought one long before this recent attack on the constitution), and that reminds me PRO-CONSTITUTION (don't get me started). Ok, I had better stop there or I will get on my soapbox.

A lot has happened in the time I haven't been blogging. My friend Karen and I became Reiki practitioners and started our own business, Elegant Hippy (www.eleganthippy.com) and I began writing a column for a local dog magazine called Urban Paws (www.urbanpawsmagazine.com) and rediscovered how much I love to write. (Gee, maybe that is why I am a technical writer!)

Got a surprise visit from my son at Christmas. Just a day because his connecting flight came through Houston and it didn't connect so well. We got to spend a wonderful day together with Teri and Isabella. Isabella really loves her Uncle Pete!

My daughter, Teri, has been working hard in Medical Assistant school (has made the President's list and received awards for perfect attendance) and will be starting her externship shortly. Wonderful to see that she found her calling.

My Chinese Crested, Abby, has developed some kind of endocrine imbalance. The vet suspects Cushing's disease. That could mean only another 2 years or so for her. I took her off organic kibble and she is now eating REAL food with me...and she loves her veggies along with her meat!

Then there is Mollie -- that's her photo on my blog -- she has suffered with hip dysplasia since she was a pup. Last August she was in such pain I almost had to take that dreaded trip to the vet. Then I decided to try Reiki on her...wow did it work! She went from 6 pain pills a day to none (slowly, of course) and started acting like a puppy. During the last few weeks of December she started acting like she was hurting again but didn't want Reiki...which was unusual. Then, when I got home on the 3rd of January she could barely get out of her crate. I had to help her up the 2-in step at the door, on to the couch, and she could barely lay down. Back on the pain pills she went...but they didn't help. Then she let me know it was time. She was a wonderful companion for 10-1/2 years; but, now she is playing with her old friend Chiquita. I bet they are having a blast!

Back to Abby for a minute...she is still mourning the loss of her friend, Mollie. This is the first time Abby has been an only dog.

Well, that pretty much catches you up on what's been happening with me.

Namaste.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Wow! Time Flies

A great deal has happened since my last post. I will catch you up on the highlights...

After a great deal of prayer and research, I stopped chemo after my second round of Abraxane. I think a lot of people thought I did so because of the side effects...but it was because of the benefits versus the risks of other permanent damage to my body (things like leukemia, heart muscle damage, liver and kidney damage). The doctor told me that having chemo cuts my risk of recurrence by 1/2. Sounds good until you look at the actual numbers...that still leave a 15% risk of recurrence. If it had lowered the risk to 5% I probably would have continued. BUT, the ONLY risk factor I had for this type of breast cancer was that I am a woman...so to me, all the statistics are a crap shoot--in my case anyway. I would rather run the risk of metastatic breast cancer than leukemia.

I am still dealing with neuropathy in my toes, some toe nails have bruised and are in danger of coming off so I have an appointment this week with a podiatrist.

In the meantime, I have been having pretty sever pain in my right hip. Saw the doc who did my partial knee replacement. The MRI he ordered showed some mild osteoarthritis. The good news is no tumors!! He thinks the OA isn't severe enough to be causing the hip issues so he is sending me to a spine doc because it looks like it might be coming from the L3 nerve root. I see him this week too.

Can I just say I would love to have a couple of months where I don't have to see some kind of doctor!

Wilma and Chocula adopted me just before Christmas last year. They are both poodles (surprisingly not yappy) and are wonderful dogs given their life story. Wilma was seized in a puppy mill raid in Feb 2010. The conditions were horrid. She was barely pregnant when the raid happened and Chocula, her last puppy, was born at the Humane Society. Wilma is 2 years old, has no teeth, and is blind in one eye and all Chocula had ever known of life was the Humane Society. They are both such loving dogs!

Pete, Frances, and Nessa (my granddog) came for Christmas. It was such a blessing to have them here for several days during the holiday. We had a lot of funny playing on the Wii, Teri, Isabella and Frances has some "girl time" (that would be shopping), and Pete and I has some mom-son time. It was the first time in a long time the whole family was together.

Isabella turned 2 in January...can it really be? She is living up to the "terrible twos"...but she is an amazing kid. Her vocabulary is growing rapidly and she is stringing words together -- only 2 or 3 but still, it is incredible.

I went back to work on March 1st. It has been good to be back working...brings more normalcy to life. the biggest challenges so far are fatigue and my hip. The fatigue usually hits about mid-week but I can make it through to the weekend. The hip mostly bothers me during drive times -- especially in traffic as the rotation of my foot from gas to break really irritates it. Looks like I am headed to Dubai for 4 weeks at the end of April. I am looking forward to the trip and the craziness of training 300+ employees.

Teri's birthday is coming up in a few days...the big THREE-O!! Wow, how can my kids be in their 30s when I am only 32!! I am so proud of the woman she is becoming. It isn't easy being a single mom (know from experience) but she is doing a great job. This is such a milestone age for women and I wanted to do something for her to honor the changes she is making in her life and to symbolize the end of one phase and the beginning of another. In '99 she got a new Honda Civic and has been driving it ever since. With it closing in on 200,000 miles and looking pretty sad, it was time...so I bought her a new car. The ol' Honda was dark forest green and her new car is a BRIGHT yellow Chevy Aveo. I think the symbolism goes beyond the "old and tired to new and energetic" to "out of the forest and into the light". I hope she always remembers what a truly strong woman she is and how much value she has as a woman.

I guess the only other thing going on is that I am planning a trip out to California to see my brother again this September. I think this will be a yearly ritual. My biggest decision this year is whether to fly or drive. Since I will probably take my full 2 weeks of vacation, I think driving would be great fun...guess it will depend a lot on the outcome of my hip/back saga.

Namaste,

Jan

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hair-less

Well, it finally happened...last Wednesday (the 15th) my hair started falling out. Actually, I pulled and it came right out. By Thursday it was pretty patchy so I went to Sport Clips (move over guys) and had them take it as short as they could then came home and had Teri shave my head with an electric razor. I look like my brother, without his beard!

Besides not liking the patchy look, my scalp was kind of itchy and just weird feeling -- almost a "crawling" feeling. With it shaved, the scalp doesn't have that feeling...thankfully!

This past week hasn't been bad symptom-wise. Had a couple of days that was like a really bad Fibromyalgia flare up. This next week is a week off. I will have 3 weeks on and 1 week off for 2 more cycles.

Good news today, my son, daughter-in-law, and granddog are coming for Christmas. For the first time in about 10 years my whole family will be together...what a great gift that is!!!

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

Namaste.

Jan

Monday, December 13, 2010

Chemo Update

Sorry it has been so long between updates...sometimes we just need a break from thinking about all the details.

Chemo started on the 30th of November...Abraxane once a week for 12 weeks...2 down 10 to go. One of the reasons it took so long for me to write about it is because the first session sucked. Isabella (granddaughter) couldn't be in the child care for more than 2 hours. I had to be there at 1pm for a chest xray, 2pm for blood work (where Isabella couldn't be because she isn't 12), then 4pm for chemo. Well, the 4pm for chemo stretched until almost 6:30pm. Hurt like heck when they tried to access my port -- one lady tried twice then called another person who got it the first time. They no sooner got the IV going and I started feeling weird...then I realized that it was withdrawals from the pain meds I take at night. (This wouldn't have been a problem had they been on schedule!) Let's just say I was stressed because it was the first time and even with all my reading I wasn't sure what to expect, then on top of that I was stressed that they were running so far behind and we had Isabella to worry about. It all worked out but I was maxed out on the stress scale.

Second session was the total opposite! I went by myself and there were only 2 patients when I got the the chemo floor...AND they called me back prior to my actual appointment time! The guy accessed my port on the first try and I just hung out. On top of this being a much better experience, I also got the most awesome bag at the gift shop for carrying my quilt and other paraphernalia (shopping always makes things extra special!!).

This Tuesday, Teri thinks she may have a babysitter but the person's kid got quite sick on Sunday so now we aren't sure. It really isn't a big deal for me to go alone at this point because I am not getting real sick from it.

I found out that MD Anderson has a beauty salon/barber shop that provides free hair cuts (don't really need that) and also wigs. I am thinking that I may go early on Tuesday so that I can check out the wig selection...never know, I might like the mullet look that my friend Kristin passed up!!!

As far as side effect from chemo, they have been mild thus far (hopefully I am not jinxing myself by saying that!). Most of the symptoms are ones I have experience due to other health issues present long before cancer (irritable bowel syndrome and fibromyalgia). The FDA in their infinite wisdom has now banned Darvon (MD Anderson's drug of choice for pain relief) so the doc has prescribed tramadol (Ultram) and that pretty well takes care of the fibromyalgia type symptoms. The other is handled by imodium.

The one side effect I was hoping to avoid was loss of taste. No such luck! Everything was fine until the morning after the last session. I got up Wednesday, got a cup of coffee, peeled a banana and sat down for breakfast...the only problem was that if my eyes had been closed I would not have known what the mush was in my mouth. So this week has been about trying to find things that have at least some flavor -- for example, we had leftover potato soup. I put sour cream on top and I could taste that but the only "potato" taste was that of the skins...weird! By Saturday more tastes were coming back but still a little off. I saw a recipe (with picture) of skillet tacos that looked great...Teri made it and I could actually get some tastes. Needless to say I scarfed it down. Payed for it the next day with the ol' IBS flaring up. Was it worth it? You bet!!

Another challenge is fatigue. I am letting myself adhere to my natural body rhythms (I am naturally a night owl so I am staying up late and getting up late -- but still getting my normal 6 hours) but find there is an element of fatigue no matter what. This falls under what I am now calling "chemo normal"...the day after the infusion is the worst.

Today was a GREAT day. I had a lot of energy (must be all that resting I have been doing!) so I went to the Christmas party my dog trainer throws every year and took Abby (the Chinese Crested). One reason I really wanted to go was because Abby needed the outing and I wanted to give her the chance to run the obstacle course again. OMG...we hadn't done that in about 2 years and she was so excited and ran it like she had been doing it every day! It was such a joy to see her joyfulness!! She had never done the teeter totter before but she did it like she had always done it...then she jumped a jump that high enough for a dog twice her size. For me it was great because I could actually run the course with my new knee...prior to knee replacement it was more like a hobble than a run!!

After the party a friend of mine and I went browsing for baby stuff because she just found out she is preggers. She isn't ready to buy but wanted to get some ideas (first baby at 39!). I, on the other hand, bought Isabella's toddler bed and a matching toy chest -- fairies theme of course!! Teri and I went in together to get the toddler bed for her as one of her Christmas presents. Talk about JOY!!! when she saw the box she just started saying "nite nite"...and for her first night in a big girl bed she just went right to bed and to sleep...amazing!! One of the coolest things about it is that Teri and I put both of them together as a team...with Teri doing most of the work but me lending a hand as needed, and of course Isabella was helping too. No really, she was. I would hand her a part and she would hand it to Teri...it was so adorable!!

We have also been busy trying to get Christmas decorations up...slow going with the fatigue factor. The other day I just muscled my way through the fatigue and got the tree in my bedroom up and decorated. It was a good feeling because I have had the tree for 3 years and this is the first time it has been up! A friend came over and put lights across the front eaves of the house. I won't bore you with the details but it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas!! (And tonight is is feeling like Christmas with lows in the 20s...brrrrr!)

So as I sit here writing this at almost 2am, I am feeling blessed. There is such wonderful love and compassion from my friends, family, and neighbors. I see everything so differently now...and that is such a wonderful blessing.

Namaste!

Jan

Thursday, November 18, 2010

MD Anderson Oncology Visit

Honor your intuition! Went to MD Anderson today for an oncology consult. Isabella spent the time in the nursery and Teri went with me into my appointment. To quote Teri "it was pleasant and informative"...while I know the oncologist I have been seeing is tops in the field, it just felt right at MD Anderson. Instead of a "chemo corral" with several other women and no room for my caregiver to hang with me, MD Anderson has individual rooms and room for my caregiver. Much more aesthetically pleasing environment!

There are also so many other amenities offered: free childcare, acupuncture, meditations, other wellness modalities, support groups for caregivers (that would be Teri) and so much more.

On top of all that, the protocol they use is much less toxic. It is a bit longer, but more "body friendly"...I like that idea. That isn't to say there aren't side effects, but that longterm it is less toxic.

So, chemo will begin on November 30th at MD Anderson. There is two parts to the protocol: 1) Abraxane once a week for 12 weeks, and 2) cocktail of FEC (Fluorouracil, Epirubicin, Cytoxan) every 3 weeks for 4 cycles. That means 6 months of chemo.

All for now...Namaste!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Chemo

Because of the problems I have had with yeast infections along my incision (thank you antibiotics and diabetes!) my chemo won't start until Dec. 1 to give me more healing time. The added plus is that I won't be feeling like crap for my birthday!

I have also decided to get a second opinion for my chemo and have an appointment on the 18th with MD Anderson. There are a lot of positives about going there for chemo. On the downside, it is further from home and I will have to pay for parking. Anyway...I also just want to make sure that the course of chemo my current oncologist is recommending is indeed the best. (Oh, my insurance won't pay for any part of the clinical trial so I won't be participating. It is amazing anyone is able to participate.)

Have been going through some withdrawal issues with the medication I have been on. Besides the vicodin, I was also taking a nerve pain med...that is the one giving me the issues. Rather ticked me off because nothing was said about withdrawals. Thankfully, the vicodin has helped mitigate them; however, I also am going to need to ween off of the vicodin as well. Have I mentioned I don't like drugs?

I went wild day before yesterday and scrubbed my kitchen floor. When I say scrubbed, this means I was on hands and knees. Let's just say that my pecs were SORE yesterday. Looks like I am going to need to work out and build up the muscles.

Namaste!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

PET/CT Scan and other things...

So yesterday I took matters into my own hands and went to the imaging place and got the report for my PET/CT scan (I do not have the patience to wait until next week to see my doctor). Finally, good news!!! No signs that the cancer has spread...at least nowhere in my torso...YEAH!!! WOOOHOOO!!! ...Haven't checked my brain yet...that, I believe would be an MRI...which hasn't been ordered and not sure what the plan is for that.

Today I went for my echocardiogram to make sure my heart muscle is strong enough to handle the chemo drugs. Again, won't get this result until next week. With this one, I am not so worried because I know my heart is strong.

I am actually going to try to sleep in my bed tonight for the first time in a month...my recliner is sooooo comfy though!! We'll see how it goes.

The other good news is that I went all day yesterday and now all day today without pain meds...YEAH!! I am still taking my nerve pain meds and vicodin at night to ensure I sleep well.

I have a big adventure tomorrow...totally not cancer related but still health related. I am an ambassador for the Diabetes Association and will be speaking at the Red Strider (those living with diabetes) kick off dinner tomorrow evening. Shouldn't be too taxing since I am not speaking long...drive downtown, eat, speak, come home...piece of cake.

That's it for now...no other doctor appointments this week...another YEAH!!


Namaste.