Originally written December 8th, 2006. I am only now creating this blog as I embrace the freedom and changes that mid-life brings; however, I feel this entry from my myspace page was worth starting the blog with. Enjoy...
The BIG five-OH…50. Five decades, a half-century…any way you look at it, think about it, or say it…50 is a monumental age. The last time I celebrated a 50 was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. All the gifts and cards with the gold on them. To someone just about to go into the teen years in the 60s, it was pretty awesome. I remember vividly thinking about what it would be like to celebrate my 50th with a man I would someday fall in love with and marry. Sometimes, life doesn't turn out the way we planned.
I think that is what turning 50 is really all about…looking back and looking forward. Back to re-live the thoughts, ideas, and dreams we had, first as children, then young adults, then full-grown adults with children of our own. Foward to the fulfilment of new dreams.The first part of our life is living the life our parents want for us, adopting the dreams they brainwash us with. At 50, that changes to being who we truly are in our essence. It is letting go, mourning if you will, of the dreams that didn't work out (like my 50th wedding anniversary) and celebrating the ones that did (having a good relationship with my children).
When people ask about my tattoo, I usually tell them it was my mid-life crisis because they can't believe someone my age would get a tattoo (it is three years old now). In reality, it wasn't a crisis at all…it was a conviction of the heart. A daily reminder of how dearly one man paid so that I might truly live.
I have faith that the right person will someday come into my life and we will have an awesome ride. It won't be 50 years together, but it will be awesome nonetheless. I won't wait around moping about being single because I truly don't mind being single either…why waste time worrying about things that aren't…you totally miss what is.
Life IS a grand adventure…even the lows have their purpose, for without them, could we truly appreciate the highs and wouldn't it be boring if there weren't ups and downs? Don't get me wrong, I don't like drama. But I do like living…and when you truly live, there will be bumps and bruises along the way.
So my birthday wish is for all of you to truly look at this magnificent world and appreciate that we are here, in just the right place, at just the right moment…even though it sometimes seems as though we are in the wrong place at the wrong time. We are where we need to be at that very moment.
Remember, the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence…it is just different grass. To borrow from Seasons of Love..."525,600 minutes, 525,600 moments so dear". How are YOU going to spend the next year?
