Living Faith

Have you ever just "known"? I did...and thankfully I followed that feeling. On August 24th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer after an initial radiologists report of "everything is normal". Because I was concerned that I had inflammatory breast cancer -- the rare, really bad kind of breast cancer -- I just knew I couldn't take his word for it. MD Anderson came to mind. I felt that if they said I didn't have it, I could believe them.

I self-referred and was seen within a week. The Nurse Practitioner I saw didn't feel I had IBC; however, she did feel something in the other breast. I was scheduled for more mammograms and ultrasounds, with biopsies if needed, on the following Tuesday (August 24th). The radiologist was certain what was being seen on ultrasound was a benign lesion but was going to biopsy just to make sure. When he came back in and said it wasn't all benign and they needed to do a core biopsy...he was so caring and shocked that it came back something other than benign. I wasn't.

The Nurse Practitioner was surprised too. Funny, I reassured them both I wasn't surprised because my faith in that "knowing" is what had brought me there.

So where am I in the process? Waiting. She said she would submit me for a surgical appointment but that it would be late September before I was seen...which is ok because we have to wait for the results of the core biopsy. I should hear something by Monday. So in roughly 15 days I went from "all clear" to "you have breast cancer".

My choice of treatment was made back when I was a teen. Everything I have learned in the intervening years about medicine and cancer treatments only serves to solidify my earlier decisions.

Double mastectomy (without reconstruction), no chemo nor radiation, holistic health protocols only.

The one thing I want to make sure everyone understands is how very strong my faith is. I don't need to hear how I will beat this or how many advances here have been in its treatment. You see, I believe in God and His abiding love. However this turns out is ok because I ask for His will to be done in my life. Don't pray for healing, pray for His will. Do I want to live? Of course I do...but I am truly ok if that isn't the outcome...after all I will be going home (just a little sooner than expected).

Namaste!