Had a bilateral mastectomy on the 29th of September. Surgery went well and the best news of all is that the lymph nodes were not involved at all -- YEAH!! The best part of that is that they didn't remove any so my pain level is really quite minimal...although I am taking the pain pills because I don't want to find out the hard way that it is more painful than what I think!
I wasn't sure what I would feel once I looked at my chest...meaning I wasn't sure if the drastic nature of the surgery would hit me at that point. There wasn't long to wait to find out...doctor came in the day after surgery and removed what bandage I had. Now there is just paper tape covering the wound...and then of course the drains. I suppose I would describe my chest as "lumpy" -- which the doctor said would eventually go away. It is one big bruise and is a bit concave. After wearing bras for 44 years, it is odd to be "flat chested"...but it really wasn't a shock to me.
My surgeon's partner came in yesterday to check me out for release. He asked why I had chosen bilateral since the cancer was only in one breast. I told him because of my triple negative status and his response was "That was a good choice then!" So good to have my decision re-affirmed.
Will see the doctor in a week and hopefully will have the drains removed...though they aren't as bad as I was expecting. It is like having temporary boobs at waist level. LOL!! For those of you wondering...I haven't yet lost much weight...I suppose part of that is because of the fluid still accumulating and the swelling. Will keep you posted as to how much boobs actually weigh (mine at least -- Dolly Parton's might be a WHOLE other story!!).
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Oncology Visit
So the next step in this process was to see the oncologist. Liked her a lot. She is going to use my case at the next tumor board because there is some rarity to my case -- guess that sort of makes me a celebrity! LOL
Looks like I will most likely have chemo over the course of 5 months and that it starts about a month after surgery. She reassured me that they have some great drugs in their arsenal to combat nausea and vomiting (I sure hope so!) and that I will lose my hair. The good part is that insurance will pick up the cost of my new "hair". Just ordered a couple of wigs and scarves to keep my little bald head warm. (Since I love scarves, I will probably be wearing those the most.)
The hardest part of all of this is all of the things that need to be taken care of prior to surgery. This is really the first time I dislike being single because there isn't a significant other to help with all the details...everyday there is something else I find that needs to be done. I am grateful that Teri is there and is helpful, but it isn't quite the same.
While I am very positive and have faith in God, I feel I need to say something for all my friends and relatives. Please pardon my abruptness...but, everyone needs to understand and not be afraid to admit that I may die from this. There...I said the "d" word. Yes, there are great new medicines -- but not for my type of cancer. Even if there were...they don't really know what the outcome will be...it IS in God's hands. Like I said in an earlier post, I am OK with whatever the outcome.
Life throws us some funny curves. Remember to let the people you love KNOW that you love them and really take a look at your life. Is it the life you want to lead? If not, change it. Life is much too short and we just never know when that final bell will be rung.
Namaste.
Looks like I will most likely have chemo over the course of 5 months and that it starts about a month after surgery. She reassured me that they have some great drugs in their arsenal to combat nausea and vomiting (I sure hope so!) and that I will lose my hair. The good part is that insurance will pick up the cost of my new "hair". Just ordered a couple of wigs and scarves to keep my little bald head warm. (Since I love scarves, I will probably be wearing those the most.)
The hardest part of all of this is all of the things that need to be taken care of prior to surgery. This is really the first time I dislike being single because there isn't a significant other to help with all the details...everyday there is something else I find that needs to be done. I am grateful that Teri is there and is helpful, but it isn't quite the same.
While I am very positive and have faith in God, I feel I need to say something for all my friends and relatives. Please pardon my abruptness...but, everyone needs to understand and not be afraid to admit that I may die from this. There...I said the "d" word. Yes, there are great new medicines -- but not for my type of cancer. Even if there were...they don't really know what the outcome will be...it IS in God's hands. Like I said in an earlier post, I am OK with whatever the outcome.
Life throws us some funny curves. Remember to let the people you love KNOW that you love them and really take a look at your life. Is it the life you want to lead? If not, change it. Life is much too short and we just never know when that final bell will be rung.
Namaste.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Surgery Scheduled
Got the call today. Surgery is scheduled for September 29th. I go in the afternoon of the 28th to get injected with dye, then back the morning of the 29th for surgery. Will keep everyone posted.
Namaste
Namaste
Monday, September 13, 2010
Surgical Consult
Surreal. Finally received the complete core biopsy results.
Diagnosis: INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA WITH APOCRINE FEATURES AND ASSOCIATED LYMPHOCYTIC INFILTRATE, INTERMEDIATE TO HIGH NUCLEAR GRADE, NOTTINGHAM HISTOLOGIC GRADE 2.
In addition to that diagnosis, the cancer is triple negative. That means that it is not receptive to estrogen, progesterone, or HER2.
What all that means: it is a more agressive cancer and there isn't a targeted therapy for it.
Saw a surgeon today...meeting with an oncologist on Wednesday. Will be scheduled for surgery soon and will post a date as soon as I know. I will be getting a double-mastectomy with chemo to follow.
So...that is from the logical side...now from the emotional side....
OMG...it is pretty surreal. My faith is strong and I truly believe that whatever the outcome...it is ok. While y'all pray for me, please also pray for my family -- that they have the strength and faith needed for the road ahead.
Diagnosis: INVASIVE DUCTAL CARCINOMA WITH APOCRINE FEATURES AND ASSOCIATED LYMPHOCYTIC INFILTRATE, INTERMEDIATE TO HIGH NUCLEAR GRADE, NOTTINGHAM HISTOLOGIC GRADE 2.
In addition to that diagnosis, the cancer is triple negative. That means that it is not receptive to estrogen, progesterone, or HER2.
What all that means: it is a more agressive cancer and there isn't a targeted therapy for it.
Saw a surgeon today...meeting with an oncologist on Wednesday. Will be scheduled for surgery soon and will post a date as soon as I know. I will be getting a double-mastectomy with chemo to follow.
So...that is from the logical side...now from the emotional side....
OMG...it is pretty surreal. My faith is strong and I truly believe that whatever the outcome...it is ok. While y'all pray for me, please also pray for my family -- that they have the strength and faith needed for the road ahead.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Final Biopsy Results
My nurse practitioner just called and the final result is that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). The tumor is just 1 cm so it is Stage 1 at this point because the ultrasound didn't show involvement of the lymph nodes. Final staging won't occur until surgery when they look more closely at the lymph nodes.
The good news is that this is the most common kind of cancer, with 80% of diagnoses falling in this category.
We are looking at 4-6 weeks before I see a surgeon at MD Anderson. In the meantime, I will be looking at options.
Keep the faith!
The good news is that this is the most common kind of cancer, with 80% of diagnoses falling in this category.
We are looking at 4-6 weeks before I see a surgeon at MD Anderson. In the meantime, I will be looking at options.
Keep the faith!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Living Faith
Have you ever just "known"? I did...and thankfully I followed that feeling. On August 24th, I was diagnosed with breast cancer after an initial radiologists report of "everything is normal". Because I was concerned that I had inflammatory breast cancer -- the rare, really bad kind of breast cancer -- I just knew I couldn't take his word for it. MD Anderson came to mind. I felt that if they said I didn't have it, I could believe them.
I self-referred and was seen within a week. The Nurse Practitioner I saw didn't feel I had IBC; however, she did feel something in the other breast. I was scheduled for more mammograms and ultrasounds, with biopsies if needed, on the following Tuesday (August 24th). The radiologist was certain what was being seen on ultrasound was a benign lesion but was going to biopsy just to make sure. When he came back in and said it wasn't all benign and they needed to do a core biopsy...he was so caring and shocked that it came back something other than benign. I wasn't.
The Nurse Practitioner was surprised too. Funny, I reassured them both I wasn't surprised because my faith in that "knowing" is what had brought me there.
So where am I in the process? Waiting. She said she would submit me for a surgical appointment but that it would be late September before I was seen...which is ok because we have to wait for the results of the core biopsy. I should hear something by Monday. So in roughly 15 days I went from "all clear" to "you have breast cancer".
My choice of treatment was made back when I was a teen. Everything I have learned in the intervening years about medicine and cancer treatments only serves to solidify my earlier decisions.
Double mastectomy (without reconstruction), no chemo nor radiation, holistic health protocols only.
The one thing I want to make sure everyone understands is how very strong my faith is. I don't need to hear how I will beat this or how many advances here have been in its treatment. You see, I believe in God and His abiding love. However this turns out is ok because I ask for His will to be done in my life. Don't pray for healing, pray for His will. Do I want to live? Of course I do...but I am truly ok if that isn't the outcome...after all I will be going home (just a little sooner than expected).
Namaste!
I self-referred and was seen within a week. The Nurse Practitioner I saw didn't feel I had IBC; however, she did feel something in the other breast. I was scheduled for more mammograms and ultrasounds, with biopsies if needed, on the following Tuesday (August 24th). The radiologist was certain what was being seen on ultrasound was a benign lesion but was going to biopsy just to make sure. When he came back in and said it wasn't all benign and they needed to do a core biopsy...he was so caring and shocked that it came back something other than benign. I wasn't.
The Nurse Practitioner was surprised too. Funny, I reassured them both I wasn't surprised because my faith in that "knowing" is what had brought me there.
So where am I in the process? Waiting. She said she would submit me for a surgical appointment but that it would be late September before I was seen...which is ok because we have to wait for the results of the core biopsy. I should hear something by Monday. So in roughly 15 days I went from "all clear" to "you have breast cancer".
My choice of treatment was made back when I was a teen. Everything I have learned in the intervening years about medicine and cancer treatments only serves to solidify my earlier decisions.
Double mastectomy (without reconstruction), no chemo nor radiation, holistic health protocols only.
The one thing I want to make sure everyone understands is how very strong my faith is. I don't need to hear how I will beat this or how many advances here have been in its treatment. You see, I believe in God and His abiding love. However this turns out is ok because I ask for His will to be done in my life. Don't pray for healing, pray for His will. Do I want to live? Of course I do...but I am truly ok if that isn't the outcome...after all I will be going home (just a little sooner than expected).
Namaste!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Settling
One of the most important concepts of contemplative living is that of living in "unified relationship with oneself" because without that unity, it is impossible to achieve the balance of living "in unified relationship with God, others, and nature." I have to know myself before I can know others and become part of that wonderful sea that is humanity.
I am reminded of something from the movie Runaway Bride — the female lead, played by Julia Roberts, immediately "liked" whatever her prospective husband liked and yet had no idea what she herself liked apart from him...right down to how she liked (or didn't like) her eggs.
We have all done that to some extent so that we could fit in. But fitting in isn't about liking something because someone else does...it is realizing that we are like a huge jigsaw puzzle where each piece, with its own unique shape, has its perfect spot.
We need to understand our uniqueness so that we can embrace it and take our place "with ourself, God, others, and nature" without settling for less than we are as imperfectly, perfect creations of God.
Namaste.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)